Baby Shower/Mother Blessing
Recently, I was given a baby shower by two dear friends of mine, Janice and Christina (who is Penelope’s Godmother) and I had such a wonderful time. I had been looking forward to my shower since my first trimester. It was at Janice’s house and her house is absolutely gorgeous. It was decorated to the nines with fall décor. Fall is my favorite time of year and I love fall decorations, so it’s very fitting that Penelope is arriving this fall! It was a small group but it was so nice, I got to spend quality time with everyone there and I knew that everyone that was there truly loved me and Penelope.
After we ate some yummy food, they did a mother blessing for me. Everyone gathered, standing in a circle. My friend Missy had a ball of yarn, and started the ceremony. She told everyone that when the ball of yarn comes to you, say a piece of advice or a loving blessing and then to pass the ball of yarn across the circle to another person. In the end, we created a web with the yarn, a web of support. Then Missy cut pieces of the yarn and had everyone tie a piece around their wrist or ankle to wear until baby Penelope arrives. When they look at their piece of yarn they are reminded to continually send love and support our way. It was such a simple act, only took about 15 minutes, but it will be something I remember for the rest of my life.
Mother Blessings or Blessingways are simply the name of a ceremony. According to Anna Stewart, author of Mother Blessings-Honoring Women becoming Mothers, cultures across the world mark special events- menses, marriage, childbirth, war, journeys, death – with ceremonies and rituals. They provide a formal way to understand the changes a person is in the midst of. They bring us together to celebrate, honor, and support our loved ones.
Through creating an intentional ceremony, rich with personal significance, family and friends offer their heartfelt blessings as they create a physical symbol of their wishes. Mother blessings focus on giving emotional support, commitment to being in community with the new family, and a deeper appreciation for the life change that follows a baby’s arrival. We need ceremonies to remind us of these transitions.
In Grandmothers of the Light, Paula Gunn Allen talks about birth being the most important event in a woman’s life. It is her ticket into the adult women’s world. Allen writes, “Having traversed the borderland between life and death in childbirth, she is welcomed and instructed in the woman’s way, she learns the discipline of sacrifice- her body, time, nutrients, psyche, knowledge, skills, social life, relationships, spiritual knowledge and values are called into the service of her children. This passage pushes her to reach beyond whatever limits she thought she labored within, making her stronger and wiser.”
Becoming a mother, is absolutely one the biggest event of our lives and we deserve more than a few congrats and baby gifts. We deserve (at least as much as we need) to be honored for this incredible journey. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends that have honored my journey towards motherhood.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Breastfeeding 101
Last Wednesday, Peter and I took our Breastfeeding class at Best Beginnings (www.Best-Begin.com). It’s a two hour class that helps new parents get ready for breastfeeding a newborn. It is a TON of information to go over in two hours and it can be overwhelming, but I highly recommend the class. We learned about different positions to hold and nurse baby and to get baby to latch on correctly. The class was especially helpful for moms who are going back to work and need help picking out the right pump and other things they need to know about storing breast milk, etc.
After class, a funny thing happened-Peter officially became scared of my boobs. After class it actually sunk in to him that I will use my breasts to feed our child and that they are no longer purely for his entertainment. Even though I haven’t even starting leaking colostrum yet or feeding a newborn, he is steering clear of them!
Breastfeeding is one of my worries-the birth and handling the pain doesn’t bother me so much, it’s the after the baby gets here part that I am worried about. Even though I have tons of experience taking care of babies as a nanny, I have never had to breastfeed before or had to take care of a baby 24 hours a day. At 5 o’clock I was done and could have a relaxing evening to myself… there is no end to the baby care shift now!
On a side note, my posts are getting more and more spread out as I get closer to my due date. It’s like I am being sucked into a cocoon. My brain does not want to do anything but nest and day dream about my baby. To actually type and verbalize what I am thinking and feeling is way too much effort and takes me out of my dreamy state-the state I need to be in to get ready for birth. Every ounce of brain power I have left is reserved for my job!
After class, a funny thing happened-Peter officially became scared of my boobs. After class it actually sunk in to him that I will use my breasts to feed our child and that they are no longer purely for his entertainment. Even though I haven’t even starting leaking colostrum yet or feeding a newborn, he is steering clear of them!
Breastfeeding is one of my worries-the birth and handling the pain doesn’t bother me so much, it’s the after the baby gets here part that I am worried about. Even though I have tons of experience taking care of babies as a nanny, I have never had to breastfeed before or had to take care of a baby 24 hours a day. At 5 o’clock I was done and could have a relaxing evening to myself… there is no end to the baby care shift now!
On a side note, my posts are getting more and more spread out as I get closer to my due date. It’s like I am being sucked into a cocoon. My brain does not want to do anything but nest and day dream about my baby. To actually type and verbalize what I am thinking and feeling is way too much effort and takes me out of my dreamy state-the state I need to be in to get ready for birth. Every ounce of brain power I have left is reserved for my job!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Prenatal Massage
I got a massage on Sunday afternoon and it was pure heaven. I have been getting regular massage ever since I became a massage therapist myself (almost 10 years ago!) and I look forward to my massage all month. I haven't given a massage in several months-but I will start taking appointments again in January. We budget my massages in, as if they were a car or mortgage payment! Since I have been pregnant, I have been getting a massage every 3 or 4 weeks instead of every 4 or 5 weeks and without them I know I would be in much more physical pain and way more stressed out. I feel good knowing that even though I am stressed and exhausted from work, I can balance those feelings out with massage.
The last few weeks I have been getting very uncomfortable. It hurts to sit in a chair for more than 15 minutes and my feet hurt if I am standing for more than 5 minutes. My shoulders hurt from sleeping on my side. My calves cramp up. At night I can't get comfortable and have a hard time going to sleep. But massage makes everything better!
I could go on and on about the benefits of massage! Thinking about this post, I remembered an article I wrote several years ago about the benefits of massage- it ran in Family Forum Magazine and Natural Awakenings Magazine. Here it is:
The time during your pregnancy should be spent relaxing and emotionally and physically preparing for the birth of your child. Instead, most women are frazzled, stressed and just plain exhausted from working, taking care of other children and getting everything “done” before baby arrives. Along with the joys of pregnancy comes also some discomfort that makes getting everything done a little harder! Pregnancy massage is a fantastic way to reduce any discomfort from your pregnancy and creates a precious moment all to yourself to relax and give your baby all the positive benefits that result from you being relaxed. When you are relaxed, you and your baby are healthy. Getting a massage may seem like an outrageous luxury, but medical research shows that getting a massage is a very important part of your prenatal care. A pregnancy massage makes a great baby shower gift or can win big points for hubby!
Benefits of Pregnancy Massage:
*Massage helps mom's body to eliminate waste products through the lymphatic and circulatory systems, which combats fatigue and helps the mother feel more energetic.
*By aiding circulation, massage eases the load on mom's heart and helps to keep her blood pressure in check.
*Muscular discomforts, such as cramping, tightening, stiffness, tension, and knots, can all be alleviated.
*Massage helps carry away the lactic acid and other cellular waste products that build up and cause muscle fatigue.
*Massage can help relieve depression or anxiety caused by hormonal changes mom is experiencing.
*Massage relieves many of the normal discomforts during pregnancy, such as backaches, a stiff neck, leg cramps, headaches, edema, and sore, swollen ankles and feet.
*Massage increases local and general blood circulation, which brings more oxygen and nutrients to the cells of both the mother and fetus. This means greater vitality and less fatigue for mom and better nourishment for her baby.
*Massage stimulates glandular secretions, which helps stabilize hormone levels.
*It relaxes tense muscles and tones loose muscles, and can also increase muscular flexibility. Flexibility will be most helpful during the last trimester and during the birth itself.
*Massage helps to soothe and relax nervous tension, which helps the mother sleep more easily and more deeply. Incidentally, doctors all agree that a relaxed mother will have a happier, healthier pregnancy and possibly an easier childbirth experience, too.
*Massage can be used during the birth to make it easier and more comfortable for mom, and after the birth as well, to help her regain her strength more quickly and ease postpartum stress.
The last few weeks I have been getting very uncomfortable. It hurts to sit in a chair for more than 15 minutes and my feet hurt if I am standing for more than 5 minutes. My shoulders hurt from sleeping on my side. My calves cramp up. At night I can't get comfortable and have a hard time going to sleep. But massage makes everything better!
I could go on and on about the benefits of massage! Thinking about this post, I remembered an article I wrote several years ago about the benefits of massage- it ran in Family Forum Magazine and Natural Awakenings Magazine. Here it is:
The time during your pregnancy should be spent relaxing and emotionally and physically preparing for the birth of your child. Instead, most women are frazzled, stressed and just plain exhausted from working, taking care of other children and getting everything “done” before baby arrives. Along with the joys of pregnancy comes also some discomfort that makes getting everything done a little harder! Pregnancy massage is a fantastic way to reduce any discomfort from your pregnancy and creates a precious moment all to yourself to relax and give your baby all the positive benefits that result from you being relaxed. When you are relaxed, you and your baby are healthy. Getting a massage may seem like an outrageous luxury, but medical research shows that getting a massage is a very important part of your prenatal care. A pregnancy massage makes a great baby shower gift or can win big points for hubby!
Benefits of Pregnancy Massage:
*Massage helps mom's body to eliminate waste products through the lymphatic and circulatory systems, which combats fatigue and helps the mother feel more energetic.
*By aiding circulation, massage eases the load on mom's heart and helps to keep her blood pressure in check.
*Muscular discomforts, such as cramping, tightening, stiffness, tension, and knots, can all be alleviated.
*Massage helps carry away the lactic acid and other cellular waste products that build up and cause muscle fatigue.
*Massage can help relieve depression or anxiety caused by hormonal changes mom is experiencing.
*Massage relieves many of the normal discomforts during pregnancy, such as backaches, a stiff neck, leg cramps, headaches, edema, and sore, swollen ankles and feet.
*Massage increases local and general blood circulation, which brings more oxygen and nutrients to the cells of both the mother and fetus. This means greater vitality and less fatigue for mom and better nourishment for her baby.
*Massage stimulates glandular secretions, which helps stabilize hormone levels.
*It relaxes tense muscles and tones loose muscles, and can also increase muscular flexibility. Flexibility will be most helpful during the last trimester and during the birth itself.
*Massage helps to soothe and relax nervous tension, which helps the mother sleep more easily and more deeply. Incidentally, doctors all agree that a relaxed mother will have a happier, healthier pregnancy and possibly an easier childbirth experience, too.
*Massage can be used during the birth to make it easier and more comfortable for mom, and after the birth as well, to help her regain her strength more quickly and ease postpartum stress.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Ooo Weeee That’s a BIG Baby!
Those were the words of the Doctor, as he walked into the room and looked at the ultrasound screen. My sweet Penelope is a big girl! I am 31 weeks and she is 4 pounds and 4 ounces! I am actually excited she is so big. It makes me feel better about being so huge myself and call me crazy, but I would be thrilled to be able to say I pushed out a 9 or 10 pound baby at home with no drugs!
The best part of the ultrasound was finding out that she is healthy. They looked at her heart and checked for any defects and her spine for things like Spina bifida and she is absolutely perfect. I feel so blessed and relieved to know that she is healthy.
We got to watch her for a bit and she was playing with her toes and sticking out her tongue and moving around like crazy. I learned that my placenta is anterior, and it that position, it acts as pillow or buffer to lots of her movements. Apparently, I would feel her movements more if it was posterior. I thought that was pretty interesting. My placenta is also on my left side of my uterus and explains why she is always curled up on the right side. Sometimes I look so lopsided with her butt sticking way out on my right side!
At one point Peter said something to Penelope during the ultrasound, and she opened her eyes, and turned her head as if to look directly at him- it was amazing! And we saw hair! This would explain the heartburn I have had since week 7!
The best part of the ultrasound was finding out that she is healthy. They looked at her heart and checked for any defects and her spine for things like Spina bifida and she is absolutely perfect. I feel so blessed and relieved to know that she is healthy.
We got to watch her for a bit and she was playing with her toes and sticking out her tongue and moving around like crazy. I learned that my placenta is anterior, and it that position, it acts as pillow or buffer to lots of her movements. Apparently, I would feel her movements more if it was posterior. I thought that was pretty interesting. My placenta is also on my left side of my uterus and explains why she is always curled up on the right side. Sometimes I look so lopsided with her butt sticking way out on my right side!
At one point Peter said something to Penelope during the ultrasound, and she opened her eyes, and turned her head as if to look directly at him- it was amazing! And we saw hair! This would explain the heartburn I have had since week 7!
Monday, September 7, 2009
30 week Appointment
Yesterday I had my 30 week appointment at the Birth Cottage. I can’t believe I am 30 weeks already! Penelope will be here soon! Everything is progressing good-baby girl is head down and ready to rock roll. Heartbeat is good and she is very active. Layla, one the midwives at the Birth Cottage, showed me exactly how she is curled up in my womb. I could feel her little chin and head, her spine and butt and then her feet. It was super cool to be able to pinpoint her tiny features. Today when rubbing my belly, I could make out the outline of her feet. Feeling her little foot makes me antsy! I want to feel her foot in my hand and feel her fingers wrap around mine. I can’t wait to scoop her up and smell her. I want to meet her so bad, but I am glad I have several weeks still to go-there is still SO much to do. At this appointment I got lots of paperwork and homework. Who knew I had to apply to get a social security number for her now? I have to get all our home birth supplies ready for the house. Most of it is simple things that I already have, I just need to gather them up-like a deep bowl for the placenta, but some of it I need to go out and get like maxi pads for post partum.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Last Night I Dreamt I Gave Birth to a Puppy
I know crazy pregnancy dreams are normal, but its still a little disconcerting when you dream of pushing out a puppy. I have been having very vivid and weird dreams this entire pregnancy, but this was my first full blown birthing dream.
In my dream, I awoke from a very restful night’s sleep, to a strange sensation in between my legs. In my dream, I thought to myself, “hmm, that is odd to have that feeling of pressure when I haven’t felt any contractions.” I wondered to myself, in my dream, what would happen if I pushed a little bit. So I bear down ever so slightly, and low and behold baby girl’s head is crowning! At this point, Peter is up and getting ready for work, so I calmly mention to him that baby’s head is crowing and that maybe he should stop getting ready for work and come over here. He then starts freaking out and pacing back and forth. I don’t wait for him to calm down or come over and I give another little push and out slides baby girl! I scoop her up in my hands and bring her to my chest. I immediately put her to my breast and only then do I notice that her tongue is super long and she is having a hard time latching on. I think to myself, “that’s weird, why is she having trouble latching on?” Then things come into focus and I realize she is having trouble latching on because she is a PUPPY. I am shocked for a moment and then turn to my dog (not Peter) and say “look, we have a puppy, aren’t you excited!?!”
You know how feelings and emotions of your dreams can linger as you are slowing waking up and putting together the pieces of the dream? Well, as I was fully waking up and recounting the dream to myself, what stood out to me was the feeling of total ecstasy when I pushed her out and caught her with my own two hands. Just experiencing the emotions through a dream made me super excited for the real experience. The second thing that stood out, was again, not that I actually birthed a PUPPY, but that I was stressed that it happened too fast and Peter and I had no time together in labor before pushing her out.
In my dream, I awoke from a very restful night’s sleep, to a strange sensation in between my legs. In my dream, I thought to myself, “hmm, that is odd to have that feeling of pressure when I haven’t felt any contractions.” I wondered to myself, in my dream, what would happen if I pushed a little bit. So I bear down ever so slightly, and low and behold baby girl’s head is crowning! At this point, Peter is up and getting ready for work, so I calmly mention to him that baby’s head is crowing and that maybe he should stop getting ready for work and come over here. He then starts freaking out and pacing back and forth. I don’t wait for him to calm down or come over and I give another little push and out slides baby girl! I scoop her up in my hands and bring her to my chest. I immediately put her to my breast and only then do I notice that her tongue is super long and she is having a hard time latching on. I think to myself, “that’s weird, why is she having trouble latching on?” Then things come into focus and I realize she is having trouble latching on because she is a PUPPY. I am shocked for a moment and then turn to my dog (not Peter) and say “look, we have a puppy, aren’t you excited!?!”
You know how feelings and emotions of your dreams can linger as you are slowing waking up and putting together the pieces of the dream? Well, as I was fully waking up and recounting the dream to myself, what stood out to me was the feeling of total ecstasy when I pushed her out and caught her with my own two hands. Just experiencing the emotions through a dream made me super excited for the real experience. The second thing that stood out, was again, not that I actually birthed a PUPPY, but that I was stressed that it happened too fast and Peter and I had no time together in labor before pushing her out.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Over Half Way
It’s hard to believe that I am over half way done with my pregnancy. I swear it seems like just yesterday I saw two pink lines and was puking my brains out. I felt like I wanted to die. Now I feel great. I have that second trimester burst of energy that everyone talks about. My belly is actually larger than my butt and boobs and I look pregnant and that makes me feel good about my body. My skin has seemed to calm down from the hormones from the first trimester and most importantly, I am healthy and my baby is healthy. I am a low-risk pregnancy and all is on track for my home birth in November and that makes me incredibly happy.
This halfway point has me feeling reflective, I took some time to look back at where I have been this pregnancy and where I am about to go. So many milestones have already passed; seeing a positive test, morning sickness, hearing the heartbeat for the first time, getting through the first trimester, finding out it’s a girl, taking our childbirth class in California, feeling her kick for the first time, Peter feeling her kick and seeing my belly move. Every time some moment passes me by, I close my eyes and tell my brain to freeze frame it and to remember it for the rest of my life. These moments happen so quickly and we never, never get them back. I am trying so hard to empty things on my plate, so that I can focus on these moments and not let them slip by unnoticed. I can feel myself starting dig deeper within myself, beginning to not care what is going on around me and wanting to go inward and hibernate. At the same time I have a to-do list three pages long. Things I want to accomplish before she gets here…not to mention I am getting married in less than three weeks and I have a long to-do list just for that life moment. I am trying not to get stressed out about how much I have or have not accomplished so far. I am trying to remember that it really does not matter if I am able to get all the curtains dry cleaned and the carpets cleaned before she gets here. Not every inch of my life needs to be re-organized and put in its place for me to be a good mother. If people get their Christmas cards late it is not the end of the world.
This halfway point has me feeling reflective, I took some time to look back at where I have been this pregnancy and where I am about to go. So many milestones have already passed; seeing a positive test, morning sickness, hearing the heartbeat for the first time, getting through the first trimester, finding out it’s a girl, taking our childbirth class in California, feeling her kick for the first time, Peter feeling her kick and seeing my belly move. Every time some moment passes me by, I close my eyes and tell my brain to freeze frame it and to remember it for the rest of my life. These moments happen so quickly and we never, never get them back. I am trying so hard to empty things on my plate, so that I can focus on these moments and not let them slip by unnoticed. I can feel myself starting dig deeper within myself, beginning to not care what is going on around me and wanting to go inward and hibernate. At the same time I have a to-do list three pages long. Things I want to accomplish before she gets here…not to mention I am getting married in less than three weeks and I have a long to-do list just for that life moment. I am trying not to get stressed out about how much I have or have not accomplished so far. I am trying to remember that it really does not matter if I am able to get all the curtains dry cleaned and the carpets cleaned before she gets here. Not every inch of my life needs to be re-organized and put in its place for me to be a good mother. If people get their Christmas cards late it is not the end of the world.
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