Over Half Way

It’s hard to believe that I am over half way done with my pregnancy. I swear it seems like just yesterday I saw two pink lines and was puking my brains out. I felt like I wanted to die. Now I feel great. I have that second trimester burst of energy that everyone talks about. My belly is actually larger than my butt and boobs and I look pregnant and that makes me feel good about my body. My skin has seemed to calm down from the hormones from the first trimester and most importantly, I am healthy and my baby is healthy. I am a low-risk pregnancy and all is on track for my home birth in November and that makes me incredibly happy.
This halfway point has me feeling reflective, I took some time to look back at where I have been this pregnancy and where I am about to go. So many milestones have already passed; seeing a positive test, morning sickness, hearing the heartbeat for the first time, getting through the first trimester, finding out it’s a girl, taking our childbirth class in California, feeling her kick for the first time, Peter feeling her kick and seeing my belly move. Every time some moment passes me by, I close my eyes and tell my brain to freeze frame it and to remember it for the rest of my life. These moments happen so quickly and we never, never get them back. I am trying so hard to empty things on my plate, so that I can focus on these moments and not let them slip by unnoticed. I can feel myself starting dig deeper within myself, beginning to not care what is going on around me and wanting to go inward and hibernate. At the same time I have a to-do list three pages long. Things I want to accomplish before she gets here…not to mention I am getting married in less than three weeks and I have a long to-do list just for that life moment. I am trying not to get stressed out about how much I have or have not accomplished so far. I am trying to remember that it really does not matter if I am able to get all the curtains dry cleaned and the carpets cleaned before she gets here. Not every inch of my life needs to be re-organized and put in its place for me to be a good mother. If people get their Christmas cards late it is not the end of the world.