Over Mothering

This is a concept that came into my consciousness this summer.  I had a very stressful period this summer, in my professional life, that all started because I spoke up and said, you know, "this situation is not working for me anymore."


At the same time that was going on, the urge to night wean my almost 2 year old daughter, Penelope, and the desire to start creating some boundaries was beginning to peak.  It was the same feeling of "this is not working for me anymore" but like with the other situation, it was taking me a long time for me to articulate my thoughts and have the courage to speak up and follow through.


I have a hard time, sometimes, when I am listening to messages from my intuition/higher self, or whatever you want to call it, deciding whether they are coming from a victim/fear place or healthy/whole place. 


So sometimes it takes me a long time to act till I am clear.  And when I am really unclear about what is going on, why I am feeling the way I am or why things are happening a certain way in my life, I make an appointment with an energy healer.  A lot of energy healers are also intuitives or psychics and can give a little guidance on the situation.


I think it is really interesting, when you are going through some sort of Journey or Ordeal , you can see it manifested or playing out in multi-dimensional ways or layers in your life.


Anyway, after I finally got up the courage to night wean Penelope, with the help of an energy healer to make it all clear, I realized I had been the realm of over mothering and my hesitation about night weaning her was my resistance to change and let go. 


I was also resentful of having to nurse her at night and get up so many times for the last two years.  I was exhausted and not taking care of myself.  I knew things were out of balance but I wasn't sure how to get them back on track without loosing my foundation of attachment parenting values.

Before this summer, I didn't think it was possible to over mother.  But after re-reading Louise Hay's book, You Can Heal Your Life, and paying attention to where she believes that breast cancer is a physical manifestation of resentment and anger at yourself for over mothering your children, I realize that over mothering is very possible, especially if you are devoted, attached parent. 


I have been and still am, a huge supporter of attachment parenting, but now that Penelope is almost two, I am in the process of bringing my mothering energy back into balance and creating a more healthy and age appropriate boundaries with her.  


She has been sleeping by herself for a couple of weeks now.  It has been ah. mazing.  She was totally ready and did not cry or wake up once.  I will do a post next week about the logistics, but it was a smooth process.


I am very proud of myself for allowing her some independence and letting her go a bit.   I think that part of being a good mother is knowing when to step back, give them space and let them grow up.


So I guess the other moral of the story is, that it is ok to stand up for yourself, and say "this is not working for me" and do whatever you need to do to be happy, take care of yourself and make yourself more of a priority. There is a way to do that and still honor your children and be an attached and authentic parent.


Have you ever noticed yourself in the over mothering realm?  What did you do to put things back into a healthy balance?




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Baby/Tot Yoga VIDEO: So Big!

 This is a video of Penelope doing her first yoga pose all by herself!  It's called So Big.

The way you do it is you sit on the floor with your legs together and feet pointed up towards the ceiling.  Make sure both sits bones on are the floor (your sits bones are the bony bottom part of your pelvis).  You can feel those bones better by rocking side to side slightly.  This pose is a modified from the adult yoga Staff Pose.

Then raise your arms up over your head, as if you are trying to reach the ceiling.  Your spine is nice and straight and you are looking straight ahead at your child.  When you raise your arms, you say "SOOOOO!!!"

Then you bring your arms down and try and touch your toes and say "BIIIIIGGGGG!!!"  I do it pretty dramatically, as you can see in the video and make a thump on the floor when I bring my hands down.

It's a great stretch for Mama's.

For a baby Penelope's age (9 months) or older, till about 20 months, you alternate between showing them how and helping them by raising their arms for them and bring them down for them, as you say
"SO BIG!!"

If you have been doing yoga with your baby since they were born, like us, this the time yoga gets really fun and exciting.  You can really start to play and interact with your baby at a different level.  Its so amazing to watch them learn.  Their little brains are like sponges!   They are just so smart and absorb everything you do and say.

Penelope will do So Big if I prompt her or she will just randomly do it when she is playing the floor with a toy.  All of sudden she busts out the yoga and makes her mama proud!


Check out the video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyVxwHkWJys

And let me know what you think about the video!  Do you like it better than pictures for our weekly yoga tutorial?


The one today was kind of haphazderly planned.  She was doing it and I grabbed the camera real quick.   If you guys like it, I can do more videos, but spend more time on the explanation of the pose in the video.

Just FYI, most of the baby yoga poses I post, I learned at my Itsy Bitsy Yoga training. The founder and creator, Helen Garabedian, has a great book and dvds that you can purchase to help your home practice. Or you can go to her website and try and find a class near you!

Baby/Tot Yoga: Moon Toe!

Penelope is growing up!

We have recently started to only do Tot yoga poses! She no longer wants to be on her back, whether we are doing yoga or a diaper change. A lot of babies naturally do Moon Toe as a part of their body development. If you see them doing this on their own, say "Yay! Moon Toe!!" and you are a head of the game, as far as word association goes, in teaching them how to do this pose on their own.












































To start, you put them in your lap, facing out. Then gently hold their toe out, like so. Eventually, you want them to grab their foot and then you move their legs, but when they are just learning the pose, they usually don't grab their foot. Once you have moved them into position, you sing/say "Moon Toe!" You go back and forth, doing the pose on each leg.












































Then you can do "Double Moon Toe!" By bringing both feet out.

You also want to show them how YOU can do the pose.

Especially for older tots, who will not let you "move" them into the pose and only want to do it themselves. It's a great stretch for Mama, but if you haven't stretched in a while, don't bust your leg up fast. Be gentle with yourself, until you are more flexible, and bend your knee if you need too. Once you have your leg up, say things like, "Watch Mama do Moon Toe!" or "Mama's Turn!" and then you would say to them, "Now, its your turn!" Don't be discouraged if it takes awhile for your baby to pick it up on their own. Repetition is key. Eventually they will get it, and then you wont be able to get them to stop!

Just FYI, most of the baby yoga poses I post, I learned at my Itsy Bitsy Yoga training. The founder and creator, Helen Garabedian, has a great book and dvds that you can purchase to help your home practice. Or you can go to her website and try and find a class near you!

Burnt Out

{Mama's Musings; a Monday tradition. Or at least, trying to be a tradition}

I am feeling very burnt out these days. And I am not sure why exactly. It's easy to blame the baby and say I am just exhausted (which I am), but I think it's more than that. I feel like I am running on empty and not just in the sleep sense. I have not done anything for myself in almost 9 months. Well, I take that back. I have gone to the bookstore by myself, for an hour. Once. I have gone to the movies, for two hours. Once. I have had a couple of pedicures, but have taken Penelope with me. I work out twice a week, but it's with Penelope. I have gotten several massages, and they have gotten the job done of taking the physical pain away in my neck and back, but they are not the same anymore- in a relaxing way. During the massage, I am still in the house with Penelope and can hear her if she is fussing while Peter is taking care of her, so the entire time, I am itching to get off the table and tend to her. And it's not that I want to be away from her either, because when I have gone to the bookstore or movies, thinking that is what I needed, was to just get away for a bit. I ache to be back with her. I miss her ridiculously.

Everything I do is for someone else. Whether I am cooking or cleaning or caring for Penelope. My life right now is all about service to others. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but I feel like its been way too long since I have had anyone take care of me. Peter, my husband, helps out at the house a lot, but still something feels not quite right. I am not sure what I am even craving. I thought I really just wanted to go see a movie but when I did that, it didn't help. In fact, it stressed me out more than not seeing one. For one reason, like I mentioned already, I miss Penelope too much to be gone for several hours and two the amount of effort it took to coordinate me going to see a movie, in between nursing to sleep and pumping times, at time that Peter was available to watch Penelope, that my friends were both available to go, and find a time a stinkin' movie was playing that fit in that schedule, was insane. I would rather just not see a dang movie for all that effort.

Maybe its a yoga class I need? I haven't' been to a class since I was pregnant. I practice at home, in spurts, again mostly with Penelope, but its. not. the. same. Maybe its going to church? I have only been to Mass a couple of times this year. Ok, two times. And one was Penelope's Baptism, and there wasn't even Mass at that! The other, you guessed it, was Easter. My Priest recently sent us a letter, asking if there was a health problem he should know about to add to his prayers (a.k.a. why the heck are you not in church?) Does having a baby count as a health problem?

I remember a conversation I had with a mentor of mine, a few years ago, when I was so burnt out from running the yoga studio. She gave me a breathing meditation, in which on each exhalation I was to send my breath back to myself and give myself some energy and love. Maybe I will give that a try.

I don't want to alarm anyone, I am not on the brink of a meltdown or anything, its just this little itch that something is missing and I can't quite put my finger on it!

What do you think? What is something you do to restore your soul?

Baby/Tot/Mama Yoga: Twistee!

This pose is a great back stretch for our little babies. Its similar to the adult yoga pose Supine Spinal Twist. Supine means to lay on your back, by the way. :)
To do this pose, for baby, tot or mama, lay on your back. Bring your knees together and drop them both to one side. Slowly turn your head the in opposite direction of your knees, while keep both shoulders on the floor.

For babies, you move their legs for them. To move their head, try and use a toy, or in my case, during this picture, a sweet little friend to get babies attention and get them to look in the right direction. And as you are doing the pose, you say Twistee!!! Doing this on tiny babies, is great to help them learn how to do eye-tracking and builds up neck strength.
For tots and older kids, just show them how to do the pose by you doing it yourself. Then say, "You do it!" or "Now, its your turn!" Remind your tot or child to breath in through their nose and out through their nose while they are doing the pose.

Just FYI, most of the baby yoga poses I post, I learned at my Itsy Bitsy Yoga training. The founder and creator, Helen Garabedian, has a great book and dvds that you can purchase to help your home practice. Or you can go to her website and try and find a class near you!

Baby/Tot Yoga: I Love You

This pose is a Penelope favorite. She soaks up all the eye contact and love. For babies that still don't mind being on their back, lay them down with their feet going towards your body. Take their hands and bring them into the middle of their chest. This simple action of bringing their hands to the midline of their body, helps them with crawling and clapping. And then you say Iiiiiii!




















Next, bring their arms out wide, give them a big stretch, but be gentle. Remember, the younger the baby, the slower your movements should be, so they can process what you are doing. As their arms are out wide, you say Llllloooooovvveeee!

Then bring their arms back to the midline of their chest, but cross one hand over the other and sort of rock them back and forth and say Yyyyooooouuuuu!
Do this several times. For older babies and toddlers, who don't want to lay down, you can do this with them sitting in your lap, facing out to be able to look around.

Just FYI, most of the baby yoga poses I post, I learned at my Itsy Bitsy Yoga training. The founder and creator, Helen Garabedian, has a great book and dvds that you can purchase to help your home practice. Or you can go to her website and try and find a class near you!