Make Your Boobs a Happy Place

I recently have been asked by some readers to explain what I did to get Penelope to comfort nurse at 5 months.

Here is Penelope latched on nursing for the first time since she was a newborn.  The day before she turned 5 months old. 


I am STILL not ready to tell our story in full detail, I attempted to last night and started crying and could feel the anxiety rising, so I put it away for yet, another day.

But I really feel the need, to at least tell this part of the story, in case it can help just one Mama going through something similar.

I feel like I could pass the damn IBCLC exam after all the research I have done and professionals we have worked with.  That said,  I can't promise that anything I recommend will work or that it will be all inclusive.  This is simply things we did and what helped us. 

If your baby will not breastfeed click on this KellyMom.com link.  Read it in its entirety.  Then read it again.  Then call an IBCLC.  If you have already seen an IBCLC with no success, call another one.

And while you are trying to get your baby to nurse, you must also focus on protecting your supply.  I like the word protecting, because that is really what you are doing. Your milk is your babies birth right, and even though the stars aligned for your baby to not be able to nurse, you can still breastfeed. So this is really your priority.  THEN you can start working on making your boobs a happy place.  You must pump like a crazy person to maintain a perfect supply.  Pump as many times as your baby would be nursing, I am talking 10 to 12 times in a 24 hour period, if you have newborn.  And try to simulate cluster feeding in the evenings as well, just like a newborn.  It's a shitty card you have been dealt, I know, but putting in lots of hard work in the beginning to establish and protect your supply will be worth it for your long term breastfeeding goals. Exclusive pumping, or EPing, just gets easier and easier. You can do it.

Here is KellyMom's page about exclusive pumping and here is a link to the yahoo group of the most amazing group of women, who are all exclusive pumping and not by choice, they are a WEALTH of information.  Without them, I would have not made it this far.

Ok, NOW, you can start reading my post!  :)

Make your boobs a happy place.

I'm serious, make them a HAPPY, HAPPY place for your baby.   This is your numero uno priority and the very first step in getting your baby to latch.  Penelope stopped latching on at all about 3.5 weeks.  It was because not only was she frustrated she wasn't getting any milk and she was in physical pain, I was beyond stressed every time I tried to nurse her.

She developed a negative association with nursing, to the point that she didn't even want to be held in a cradle position. 

I would get into a full on panic even thinking about the next feeding time.   As I picked her up and got her in position, my heart would race or I would hold my breath in sheer terror of what was to come.  When she wouldn't latch, my heart would sink into my stomach and I would feel devastated, rejected and so, so sad.  Then the tears would come and I would literally beg her to nurse. My boobs were anything but a happy place for her.  They were actually painful to me as well.  I can't even begin to describe what it feels like to have huge breasts full of milk and not be able to nurse your baby.  The pain was not only emotional it was physical.   I know she felt everything I was feeling.

Our biggest turning point at 12 weeks, was working with an IBCLC from New York through Skype sessions, and making my boobs a happy place, was the main thing she taught me.

The second your baby cries or makes a stressed face, or you start to panic or stress, STOP trying to nurse.  Redirect her, comfort her in any way you can and come back to later when you both are calm and happy.

Think of it as if you are "pouring" your love into them.  And if you are not in a loving, happy mood, you are "pouring" poisen into them...and our babies are smart, they don't want to drink no stinkin poison.

One of the most helpful things I learned to be able to stay in a mental "happy" place, no matter if Penelope was making any progress or not, was taught to me by a dear friend and energy healer.  I asked her if I should just give up trying to get Penelope to nurse (again this was around 12 weeks).  I asked her if I should just focus on pumping and stop trying, because the trying and rejection were so hard on me, I couldn't take it anymore.  She told me, instead of looking at it in black or white, as in Try or Not Try, to look for the gray, softer alternative-The Middle Road.  At that point, I stopped trying at every. single. feeding. and instead only tried when I felt a "calling" or felt that the moment was perfect. 

She also told me to unconditionally love my daughter and to let her choose her own life's path.  She told me, that it was Penelope's choice not to nurse, for whatever reason this is what she needs and wants and I needed to honor her path.  

This helped me to un-attach the from the outcome and know that if she never nursed, it wasn't my fault. 

I would keep trying, but I was no longer desperate.  I was at peace, at least at more peace than before and this eliminated any stress or pressure I was putting on Penelope to nurse.

Once I realized I needed to get Penelope to have a positive association first and foremost , I stopped actively trying to get Penelope to latch and I focused on these things:

1. Wearing her in a sling or wrap with no top on.  So she was getting skin to skin with no pressure of having to latch.

2. I took a bath with her every night.  I didn't try to latch her, I just bathed her, held her, massaged her and just enjoyed her.  To this day, those moments in the bath are my most treasured.  It was a time where all I had "to do" was enjoy my baby.
Taking a bath kills two birds with one stone, because its great skin to skin time, which will help your supply, but also its just a lovely thing to do with your baby.  In the bath, with the water and all the skin to skin, her rooting reflex is stronger.  Lay baby on your chest and don't offer the nipple.  Just lay her there and let her smell you and see what she does.  She may bob her head up and down. That is the first thing they do when they are starting to root.  Just see what she does, even if she bobs  her head up and down, don't offer.  See if she will try and find the nipple herself.  Everything I am suggesting to do, requires the patience of a zen master on your part.  Be happy with any little progress she makes and focus on the good. Later on once you have made the nipple and boob a happy place, you can start to offer your nipple in the bath. And don't forget to give her lots of positive reinforcement.

3. Play games with her at the breast and give her lots of positive reinforcement.  I would hold her in a cradle position with my boob out and her head resting on my boob or just being near by.  Then I would hold my boob so that my nipple was kind of tickling her cheek or mouth and smile big and say "yay! Penelope!"    Or I would have a clutching toy for her to look at while I had her in a cradle or side lying position, and we would just play "in position" and that helped let her guard down about being "in position".  I would also use the toy to get her to turn her head towards my nipple.  When she did turn her head towards me I would say "yay! Penelope!"
Before I could get her to be held in a cradle position, I would do this laying down next to her, or sometimes even on top of her on all fours, and let my boobs just kind of dangle and I would sing songs and smile. I would do anything I could think of, to make her smile while my boob was near by.  It was EXHAUSTING.
Remember to only do this when she is totally happy, fed, new diaper, not tired etc.


Ok, so that is basically it, as far as making your boob a happy place.  I have a million other tips and techniques to help baby latch, but making your boos a happy place is where you need to start before you try anything else.  So muster all the patience you have and do this first.


Good luck!  And please, email me if you have any questions.  I am always happy to help.

Benefits of Baby Yoga

From the book, Itsy Bitsy Yoga, by Helen Garabedian, the Top Twelve Reasons Why Babies and Toddlers Need Yoga:

1. To help them sleep better and longer
2. To improve digestion and ease gas pain
3.To turn fussiness into happiness
4. To promote a healthy, physically fit lifestyle
5.To strengthen the parent-child bond
6. To increase neuromuscular development
7.To cultivate self-esteem and positive body image
8. To boost the immune system
9. To reduce stress and develop relaxation techniques
10. to reduce anxiety
11. To increase body awareness
12. To aid the natural development of movement from birth to walking

Penelope's 1st Birthday!

Penelope's 1st Birthday had no real theme, other than the colors yellow and teal.  I originally wanted to do a Fall colors theme and go off the colors of mums, like purple, orange and lime green.  But then I saw this fabric and fell. in. love. 

Here is the birthday girl in the dress I made and matching hair bow, which she promptly ripped off her head.  I double lined it with a thick cotton, for extra warmth, and I made a bit big so she could wear it for as long as possible.  Here are a couple of other pillow case dresses I have made.

Yes, that's right, I was color coordinated.

All the kiddos, hanging out in the backyard.  It was such a surreal experience to see them all running around in our backyard and playing-and it made us realize we need to get a swing set or sand box or something other than a vegetable garden for them to play with!  It was a beautiful day and to have our back yard full of kids and families we love, made my heart oh, so happy.  It really was the perfect party.

Home-girl did not like her cake!  I made the tastiest cake, all organic and homemade, but it did not please her highness.

View from the front of the house.  We tied a big bunch of balloons to the mailbox.  Papa and Omi were on balloon and cupcake duty that morning, good job guys!

This is the what the sign on the front door looked like.  It matched the Footprint Decoration I had on display on the back wall in the play room.

Here are the play room decorations.  It was the area for her gifts and the party favors I made.  I made the banner in the background.  It was very simple to make.  I just cut out triangles with pinking sheers and stuck them inside yellow bias tape and sewed a straight line.

I even had color coordinating wrapping paper for her gifts from us, which made me feel very Martha-like.  I actually just happened to have it on hand, which was cool.  And I had tons of tissue left over from making her number 1 sign.  I got that idea here. I taped the fabric to the canvas to easily take it off and I also hot glued the tissue paper to a paper number one and then lightly taped that to the fabric, so once I get up the nerve to take it apart, I can use the fabric to make something else later.

I had yellow flowers of all kinds throughout the house.  We bought them a few days before, so that they were in full bloom the day of her party.  That was actually a tip from my husband, he is an engineer, and apparently a closet, flower designer.  Who knew?

A close up of the Footprint Decoration.  Everyone loved looking at her pictures and tiny footprints!

The party favors all wrapped up.  Remember when I made these way back when? I put three flower crayons in each box, lined with yellow tissue. Then I cut out a piece of cellophane, then laid down a piece of tissue and wrapped it up and tied with a piece of teal ribbon.

The food.  I just did a couple of appetizers, I did Feta Black Bean Dip and Raspberry Cheese Spread from the cookbook I helped put together,  A Thyme to Celebrate, and then of course we had cupcakes and cake.  We had her party in the late afternoon, so it was perfect.

I got as creative as I could using things around my house in order to do this party on the cheap. This table cloth is actually a shower curtain!  I also took down a picture from from her bedroom to use as decoration and used mason jars for the flower vases.  Then, I went a little bow happy and tied bows to everything I could.

I made the cake, but we ordered cupcakes from the Cake Shop.  I added teal blue sprinkles on one bunch and yellow ones on the other myself...apparently they don't do any icing coloring for you...

I got the little elephant platters at IKEA years ago.  We were in there to get something very specific, but when I saw these plates my heart stopped and I had to have them.  They matched perfectly with decor! 

Here's a close up the of the flowers at the food table.  I LOVE mason jars!

The cake!  And borrowed cake stand. I must, must, must buy a cake stand soon!  Oh, and the glass in the background has lemon drops candy in them.

Her highchair all decked out with her mini banner and balloons.  That butterfly still has air in it, I kid you not.

I used three different fabrics throughout the house and on her decorations.  I could just stare at this fabric all day long.  It makes me happy!  I made her invitations with the same fabrics as well.

This is not exactly a masterpiece.  The party date was looming and I still hadn't figured out what to do with her hat, so I just came up with this last minute.  Whatever, it wasn't a showstopper, but it was cute and color coordinating.

The drink station.  We bought teal blue plates and cups and yellow napkins at Party Station.  I happened to have the drink tub on hand, and I think I got it at Target.  The drink dispensers we got at Bed Bath and Beyond.  I ended up taking them back because they didn't dispense very fast.

I used 12 organic lemons in the glass jar as the centerpiece. I debated about not getting organic lemons, since they were just decoration and all, but I am so glad I did, because my common sense kicked in after the party and I made fermented lemonade with them!

This is the view from the backyard.  Those pom-poms were pretty annoying to make and store, but they looked gorgeous.

Here is the tutorial on how to make them.  Do not stack more than 8 sheets.  I tend to over exaggerate when following directions for crafting and cooking, but stay inside the lines on this one folks.

And lastly, I had some left over flower petals from her decoration in the play room above, so I hot glued them to some wooden sticks and made an easy, cheap flower arrangement.

I modpodged this $5 glass vase from Micheal's, I have the need to modpodge anything I can now, it's really addicting!

That's all folks! My beautiful girl's first birthday!
I am so proud of myself that I pulled it off and managed to stay calm. I kept reminding myself to enjoy the moment and in the end, I did. I loved the whole process, I started crafting and planning, months and months in advance and did everything is slow bits. I hope when Penelope looks back at these pictures one day, I hope she feels loved, not by the end result but by the thought and care that went into each thing.

Fermented Lemonade

After Penelope's first birthday, I had a dozen organic lemons left over, that I had used as decoration.
I planned to make regular lemonade from scratch and then happened to find this post about how to make fermented lemonade and I was so happy to give it a try!

Fermenting adds enzymes and probiotics to the lemonade that make it a healthy alternative to regular lemonade or juice, not to mention this recipe doesn't call for regular white sugar.

I followed the directions from the above post and it came out great! I only used lemons, but you can add limes to the mix if you want.  It was very tasty. Not like sugar-laded,  store-bought, pasteurized lemonade, but very tasty.

I got this juicer for Christmas, so I am excited to try more fermented juice recipes. I know I can't protect Penelope forever from store bought juice, but I hope to always make any juice I give her and keep her from being addicted to sugar, like 99% of kids in our country.

Anyway, just wanted to share that this is a good recipe and it came out tasty. This is a perfect way to start doing fermentation at home.

For more fermented beverage and food recipes, check out this cookbook.

P.S. I got those bottles at World Market, but you can also find them online or at a local brewery supply store.

Handmade Birthday Invitations

 

These were a little time consuming to make, but so worth it. They were really adorable.

 

They weren't hard to make by any means, just several steps involved. First I bought a package of teal cards and matching envelopes at Micheal's. Then I cut out squares of two different fabrics. I used pinking sheers so they didn't fray.

I sewed a fabric square on the front and on the inside. Then I typed up what her invitations said and printed them out on regular printer paper. You could cute these up even more by using coordinating card stock of some kind. Then I cut out the words in an oval shape. I have this cool shape tracer thing, from my scrap booking days and then sewed it on top of the fabric.

And viola! Handmade Birthday Invitations!

Doggie Troubles

Meet Sky.  He looks pretty sweet, huh?

Well, don't let him fool you,  we are having major dog issues in our house.

Sky, is a pitbull, read: highly emotional, is acting out like an angry toddler, but he is almost 9 years old.

Peter came home today early, and upon arrival, he went straight to Penelope and gave her a kiss and hug, kissed me, petted Sky and then sat down with Penelope to read a book to her. Then as soon as we sat down to read the book, Sky went over to our bookcase, in another room, and proceeded to chew off part of it! We don't have much nice furniture, and of course this bookcase is one of our nice, new pieces.

He has been a little mopey all year, since Penelope arrived, but now all of a sudden he is really acting out. He is also getting more aggressive when the door bell rings, to the point that the UPS man, one day, wouldn't even come up the stairs he was so terrified. Which was actually kind of funny, the poor guy, kept stuttering... " I can't do it, ma'am, I just can't do it!" To which, I replied, "You are a UPS Man, for crying out loud, you can do it!!" And he would take one step up my steps and then say again, while shaking his head, " I can't do it!" I had to coax him up every step!!

Sky also puts his paws on the table and her highchair to get food when we step away for a second. He has stracted up her highchair doing this. He also will do this on the kitchen counters now.

He chewed up one of her toys a couple of weeks ago. I had just brought it home and he went straight for it and before I could get it, he chewed the head of the poor, hand made, non-toxic stained, wooden horse!

I don't know what to do!  I am thinking of reading the book the Dog Whisperer. Has anyone read it?

For the most part, we still take really good care of Sky. He goes on two small walks a day, long walks on the weekend,  eats good, organic, canned food. I pet him and cuddle with him anytime I can, (it is less than pre-Penelope) but he is not neglected in the slightest. The biggest thing, is that he does not sleep in our bed anymore. With Penelope in the bed, I just got so worried about germs. He has been known to rub his butt on our sheets.

Who knows what is going on?! Help!

Unconditional Parenting: Chapter 2

I think I like the way I set it up last week, with me posting some of my favorite quotes to get the conversation going, so that's what I am gonna do again!

Here they are in no particular order:

"The parent can either walk away, (which may leave a child sobbing, or crying out in a panic, "Mommy, come back! Come back!) or banish the child to his room or some other place where a parent isn't. This tactic might accurately be called forcible isolation. But that label would make a lot of parents uncomfortable, so a more innocuous term tends to be used instead, one that allows us to avoid facing up to what's really going on. The preferred euphemism, as perhaps you've guessed, is time-out."

"Time-out is actually an abbreviation for time out from positive reinforcement. The practice was developed almost half a century ago as a way of training LABORATORY ANIMALS."

"For many people, the first question would be whether this approach works. Once again, however, that proves to be a more complicated matter than it may seem. We have to ask, "Works to do what?"

"Spanking and time-out, both communicate to children that if they do something we don't like, we'll make them suffer in order to change their behavior. The only remaining question is how we'll make them suffer: by causing physical pain through hitting, or by causing emotional pain through enforced isolation."

"Intrinsic motivation basically means you like what you're doing for its own sake, whereas extrinsic motivation means you do something as a means to an end- in order to get a reward or avoid a punishment. It's the difference between reading a book because you want to find out what happens in the next chapter and reading because you've been promised a sticker or a pizza for doing so."

"The more that people are rewarded for doing something, the more likely they are to lose interest in whatever they had to do to get the reward."

What grabbed you the most this chapter? How damaging time-outs are or that rewards are just as damaging? Or both?

Last Minute Homemade Gift Ideas

Like you don't have 5 million other things to be doing right now, but JUST in case, here are few super cute, last minute, homemade, and best of all, EASY and CHEAP gift ideas.

These are some organic sugar body scrubs I made. Here is the full tute here. It was very easy. I put Penelope in her highchair to supervise, since I don't have one of these (oh, please Santa, bring me on for Christmas!) and it took 15 minutes from start to finish, including the fabric tops.  Oh and I made mine with olive oil instead of coconut oil and used far more lavender drops than they recommend in the tute.

For the tops, I just cut out three squares from scrap fabric. Remember this stack of remnants I scored in Havana? You put the flat lid of the mason jar on first, then lay down the fabric, then screw on the other part of the lid. I also tied some bows and slapped on a From Stephanie's Kitchen sticker, that I bought from the Polka Dot Press a couple of years ago. I have seen several free downloadable versions online though, so search around first.

This is a 5 minute apron, no joke. I bought a napkin from World Market, I originally wanted to buy a dish towel, but they didn't have any I was in love with and the napkin was only $2.99. I had the red buttons and the ribbon on hand from previous project. I sewed the ribbon and button on and then trimmed the ribbon to be able to wrap around my waist twice.

I got the idea from another local, crafty gal (actually her MIL to be exact), she has a super cute blog too.

Here are couple more ideas:

Clothespin Gift Tags, every since I modpodged some old wipe containers and glass vases for Penelope's birthday, I want to modpodge everything.

Wine Gift Bag


Homemade Cocoa Powder, thanks for the link Ashely!


And when I went to Prudent Baby to get a link for the sugar scrub above, I saw that they are doing the EXACT same post over there...I swear I came up with this post idea on my own! So for even more ideas check them out here, they are the masters.

Barefoot Books GA Review and Giveaway!!

Oh. My. Goodness. Get ready for this, Mama's!!

I had to contain myself when I opened up my little green bag, because I was out in public, but I wanted to squeal with delight, when I saw what goodies were bestowed to Penelope through our newest sponsor, Barefoot Books GA.

This is what Celeste, the owner of Barefoot Books GA, had to say about why she started her business:

"I saw an article in Mothering Magazine about moms who own their own home based businesses and Barefoot Books was represented. I have a background in Montessori education and know the importance of language and art in a child's life. Barefoot Books is the perfect fit for me and my family. My son loves to be read to and to pretend to read. The illustrations are amazing and the content is too! And the key to joining for me, was the fact that there is no pressure to sell or meet quotas. You can literally do as much or as little as you want. I love the complete freedom to run the business in a way that suits my lifestyle. It is such a great community of people too!"

P.S.  Celeste, also happens to be an awesome Doula, you can find her Doula info here.

Check out all these books that one lucky reader will win! And the one in the back comes with a sing along cd!

As I started to browse Barefoot Books website, I immediately resonated with the company. This is the kind of business I like to support! Check out their philosophy here. On top of that, their business strategy is providing opportunity for lots of women to have a flexibility in their career, in order to stay home with their kids, they call it living barefoot. Double points in my book!

This is the cute bag you will receive with all your goodies inside.  You will also get their catalog of all their book titles, even the catalog is goregous.  But, beware, you will want them ALL.

These Yoga Planet cards were what got me the most excited! As you all know, we are big on yoga around here. They are beautifully illustrated and have all sorts of yoga poses, games and relaxation ideas on each card. When I used to teach kids yoga (ages 5 to 12), I would use the Yoga Pretzels card deck and would allow each child to pick a card from the deck and ask them to "teach" their pose to me and the rest of class. The possibilities with games and independent play are endless with a stack of cards like this. If you want to make yoga apart of your family's lifestyle, and you are not a yoga pro yourself, this really is a must have.

Penelope is REALLY into farm animals these days. She loves to do her signs or make noises. Or rather, attempt to make noises, the only noises she has in her repertoire, is a really good elephant and very weird meow noise. Both are very cute. We even took her to a farm this weekend and she got to see all sorts of animals in person. You could just see her brain expanding while we were there! She was putting it all together that the animals in the books are real!

Anyway, so she saw the farm books in the stash, There's a Cow in the Cabbage Patch and The Farmyard Jamboree, and she grabbed it from my hands and sat down with it.

The one above is a board book and the picture doesn't do it justice, the art is actually pictures of hand sewn felt masterpieces! It's amazing!

You can put an order in till Dec 22nd with overnight shipment.  OR if you are local, Celeste has several titles in stock and she can meet up with you to deliver.  If you would like to place a last minute Christmas gift order, you can email Celeste at BarefootBooksGA@gmail.com or give her a call at 229-393-6210.

These are just a few of the titles she has in stock:

I Took the Moon for a Walk
Listen, Listen
African Animals ABC
Barefoot Book of Earth Tales
The Boy Who Grew Flowers


Are you excited yet?!  Well, this is whatcha gotta do to enter this giveaway:

MANDATORY ENTRY
Check out Barefoot Books GA and tell me what other products you love or what you love about their philosophy.

You must be a Mama and Baby LOVE Google Follower to participate.

EXTRA ENTRIES
Must include email address if not listed in profile. Each entry must be a separate comment.

* Become a fan of Barefoot Books GA on Facebook

* Tweet about this giveaway for 1 entry per day! Please include Mama and Baby LOVE in your tweet and leave me the permalink.

* Follow Mama and Baby LOVE on Facebook

* Blog about this Giveaway on your blog and provide post URL.

* Post about this Giveaway on Facebook and tag Mama and Baby LOVE.

Good luck everyone! Giveaway will run until 1.11.11! I will use random generator to pick a winner and will email the winner and announce it here on the blog. The winner will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be announced.

DISCLAIMER: I was not paid for this post. I was given the product to review, and I have provided my own honest opinion and ya''ll know me, I call it like I see it. Thank you, Barefoot Books GA for allowing us to review your products and for the awesome giveaway. If you are interested in having me do a review and giveaway for your business or product, or about our adveritsing pricing, send me an email at info at mamaandbabylove dot com.

Sunday Surf 12.19.10

Great little post about exactly what Attachment Parenting is.

Interesting article about giving up grains completely.  Someone posted it to my Facebook page, after I posted my article about inflammation.  Currently, I buy sprouted bread, tortilla's and pasta and make my own tortilla chips, but I still eat non-sprouted grains sometimes and need to get much better about being more strict about that. I try not to give any grains to Penelope at all, but its really hard and she gets pieces here and there.   Eventually, I would even like to cut down my grain consumption even more.  I kind of have a sneaking feeling that my grain intake (and/or sugar intake) is causing inflammation in Penelope (via my breast milk) and may be the cause of her eczema.

Oh, FDA when will you learn?  Here they are confiscating some raw milk from a farmer up north.  The video does not have a lot of information, but the blog posts surrounding the video do, so be sure to check them out.

I found a fantastic breastfeeding website this week.  It is for women who have had SEVERE breastfeeding difficulties.  It is for information and support.  Women who can't breastfeed, often suffer from post partum depression and mourn the loss of the breastfeeding relationship as if a death occurred.

If you haven't already, come "like" Mama and Baby Love's Facebook page. I post these links throughout the week and there is usually some great conversation going on about each one.

Happy Sunday!

For more Sunday Surfing, visit Gems of Delight, Enjoy Birth, Breastfeeding Moms Unite, Domesticated Women, This Adventure Life, Maman A Droit, Hobo Mama and Baby Dust Diaries.

This Moment 12.17.10